Crime

Some of us out here in the country tend to be lackadaisical about security, but we really shouldn't be: I know three West Marlborough residents whose homes have been burgled in recent months. That's a scary thought. Please, track down your house keys and start locking up.

Sorry, We're Closed

Some sad customers alerted me to the recent demise of two long-time Kennett businesses: there are For Rent signs at the Liberty gas station/car wash at Cypress and Washington ("Thank you for your business over the past years," reads a sign over the gas pumps) and the Blevins locksmith shop at Cypress and Willow.
I also noticed For Rent signs on the Church Alley side of the American Legion hall, where the Power Place church congregation used to meet, but they didn't go out of business: they moved out to 576 Rosedale Road.

Bits and pieces

This week's random items:
1. Saw a Mini Cooper with a sticker on the back window saying "Actual Size."
2. Arrows painted on the pavement in parking lots are there for a reason, people! At the Y the other day a woman going against the arrows nearly hit my car. I pointed to the arrow and mouthed, "One way!" She mouthed, "I know" to me but kept driving. The wrong way. And of course she was on her cell phone. Why? WHY?
3. I'm told that our area was well represented (both in numbers and in high spirits) at the Masters of Foxhounds Association's annual meeting at the Union Club and the Pierre Hotel in Manhattan last week. (BTW, visit Foxypong's channel on YouTube for some terrific "helmet-cam"-style videos.)
4. Without comment, I will note that I just received an email from one of our elementary schools reminding parents that pupils aren't allowed to give out candy with their Valentine's Day cards.

Spoiler

If the Facebook gods ban me for this, so be it.
There's a photo of a living room going around on Facebook that has the caption, "This is creepy!" (and they're not talking about the ugly furniture). Then it warns you sternly NOT TO SPILL THE BEANS when you spot what's so scary about it.
I'll tell you: There's a face superimposed underneath one of the sofa pillows. It's not creepy, it's just a stupid time-waster.

Stereotypes

The other day I was paging through an old math book of mine called "Litton's Problematical Recreations" to see if the problems might be challenging enough for the budding math genius in my family.

But I found myself focusing more on how sex roles have changed since 1971, when it was published. In the book, each word problem has a little woodcut illustration, and guess what? All of the doctors, professors, scientists, athletes, computer programmers, travelers, salespeople, and Scouts are men (granted, there are only male prisoners and safecrackers, too). The only females pictured are a student, a girlfriend, a bad driver, a palm-reader, hopscotch players, an angel, a bride (and later a surly wife), a little girl whose father owns a yacht, and a librarian. There are both male and female hippies and card-players. A group called "League Against Restrictive Diets" contains an equal number of fat men and women, as does a group of six random people (you have to prove that "either three are mutually acquainted or three are mutually unacquainted") and a group of tea drinkers.
It was really quite startling.

No mat needed

Though I don't do yoga, I'm on the mailing list for a yoga retreat place. Usually their brochures resemble catalogs for upscale yoga wear, full of young, great-looking, incredibly flexible folks practicing their asanas in idyllic settings. But this season it seems the organization is pursuing a different demographic: the brochure I received last week shows a middle-aged person wearing billowy clothes, relaxing in an Adirondack chair, listening to an iPod and doing what looks like a Sudoku puzzle.

Bugged

A friend of mine is a hardy, active, very hard-working soul and was therefore quite peeved to discover that he had contracted a second sinus infection only 6 weeks after he got over his first one. He had the good sense to visit his doctor before his symptoms got too debilitating. She told him there is "nasty stuff" going around, and many of her patients have not only sinus issues like his but also a persistent cough.

I Did Not Know That

If you're looking for an excellent bedside book, try "The Book of General Ignorance: Everything You Think You Know is Wrong," by John Lloyd and John Mitchinson. I received it as a Christmas present ("How could I resist that title?" explained the gift-giver). It's divided into 230 chapters, each only a page or two in length and each offering a surprising answer to questions like "What are violin strings made from?" "What effect does alcohol have on brain cells?" "How was Teflon discovered?" "Is French toast from France?"
And the answer to "What's the largest living thing?" might be of interest to many farmers in the Kennett Square area. Hint: it's a fungus.

eBooks

I just got an email from my friend and fellow Unionville resident Paul Sapko, who is the reference librarian at the Bayard Taylor Memorial Library in Kennett. He's going to be offering two seminars entitled "I Got a Kindle or a Nook for Christmas! Now What?" Paul will teach you how to "access and search the library's collection of electronic books. You will learn how to check out and download library eBooks" to your device.
The programs will be at 6 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 14, and at 10 a.m. Tuesday, Feb. 21, at the library. You can call the library (610-444-2702) to reserve your spot (space is limited) or email psapko@ccls.org.

Wick-ipedia

Few things are more humbling than performing some household task that should be easy but somehow isn't. I learned this for the umpteenth time in my life when tinkering with my Aladdin oil lamp tonight.
I've had this lamp from, I believe, the very first winter I lived in West Marlborough. It produces not only a nice light but also a great deal of warmth, so it's very useful in case of power outages.
Aladdins are pretty sturdy (except for the extremely delicate mantle, the part that glows), and for the first time ever I needed to replace the wick. I ordered it from Lehman's, an old-fashioned hardware store in Kidron, Ohio, which stocks all things Aladdin (and off-the-grid).
When it arrived, I cleared off the table top, took the new wick out of the box, propped up the box so I could read the instructions, and started dismantling the lamp, trying to fix in my mind what piece belonged where.
One of the first steps was to remove the old wick, naturally. Easier said than done: It had been there for 20 years, and it was perfectly happy. But I managed to dislodge it, millimeter by millimeter. Then came the challenge of installing the new one. The instructions referred to lamp parts by name, but there were no illustrations.  This was a problem.
"Pull tabs until bottom of tape INSIDE wick is just below top edge of center tube."
"Turn winder anti-clockwise slowly until raiser arms engage with wick clips."
(Yes, "anti-clockwise.")
Guess what? There's not a YouTube video showing how to install a new wick, and the only online instructions simply repeat the ones on the box. But somehow the raiser arms DID end up engaging with the wick clips, with a very satisfying "click," and everything went right back into place.
Fortunately I remembered how to reassemble the whole thing, and now the new wick is soaking in the oil, ready for tomorrow evening.