So I learned four important things at Christmas parties this year.
1. You can prevent your eyeglasses from fogging up if you walk into a room backwards. At least, this is what I was told; given the unseasonably warm weather this Christmas, the temperature differential wasn't large enough to try this out.
2. In the Christmas song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," Santa Claus is actually Daddy! I completely missed this joke and had always suspected some unsavory family pathology. When I mentioned this at dinner, I was roundly derided by everyone at the table.
3. The TV screen at one host's house was bigger than any I've ever seen, outside of a sports bar. A guest told me he wanted an equally huge one but his wife had forbidden him from buying one larger than she is. She confirmed this: "There's just no need for him to have a TV bigger than his wife!" He conceded and bought a 60-inch one.
4. A preternaturally disciplined friend makes a point of losing five pounds in preparation for the holiday season because he knows he's going to gain it back at dinner parties (he gets invited to a lot of them, because he is a pleasant and entertaining raconteur). Just tonight I saw him sample a German chocolate cake, a delectable spinach-and-Brie concoction and a red velvet rose cake from Neiman Marcus.
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