I was honored to attend a recent graveside service for a friend's mother in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. The rabbi who conducted the service translated the beautiful Hebrew prayers for us and explained all of the funeral customs.
At the end of the service, he invited us to participate in the traditional filling in of the grave, using a shovel that was passed from mourner to mourner. For the first shovelful of dirt, he used the back of the shovel. He explained that it was less efficient, symbolizing both our need to say goodbye to the deceased person -- and our reluctance to do so.
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