Motivation

At a family dinner at the Half-Moon, the Tally-ho patriarch announced, perhaps unwisely, that his doctor had ordered him to lose 15 pounds in the next three months. How, he asked, was he ever going to do this?
My brother the engineer sensibly suggested a combination of decreased intake and increased exercise; he calculated the required caloric balance. I suggested frequent walks at Longwood Gardens. The Young Relative suggested that I include a box in each week's "Unionville in the News" entitled "Diet Progress." (I rejected this idea after my father started muttering something that sounded a lot like "you wanna be disowned?")
So, readers, help me out here. If you see my father at a restaurant, go up to his table and inspect his plate. Do not be afraid to denounce him publicly if you see him eating dessert. Waitresses, monitor his orders ("It's for your own good, Mr. Tally-ho"). Praise him if you see him walking at Longwood and ask intrusive questions about the regularity of his exercise.
Trust me, he'll appreciate it.
(The doctor also suggested that he might think about hiring someone to do tasks like cutting down trees instead of doing it himself. But as my father would say, "From the movie `Fat Chance.'")