Bits and pieces

This week's random items:
1. Saw a Mini Cooper with a sticker on the back window saying "Actual Size."
2. Arrows painted on the pavement in parking lots are there for a reason, people! At the Y the other day a woman going against the arrows nearly hit my car. I pointed to the arrow and mouthed, "One way!" She mouthed, "I know" to me but kept driving. The wrong way. And of course she was on her cell phone. Why? WHY?
3. I'm told that our area was well represented (both in numbers and in high spirits) at the Masters of Foxhounds Association's annual meeting at the Union Club and the Pierre Hotel in Manhattan last week. (BTW, visit Foxypong's channel on YouTube for some terrific "helmet-cam"-style videos.)
4. Without comment, I will note that I just received an email from one of our elementary schools reminding parents that pupils aren't allowed to give out candy with their Valentine's Day cards.

Spoiler

If the Facebook gods ban me for this, so be it.
There's a photo of a living room going around on Facebook that has the caption, "This is creepy!" (and they're not talking about the ugly furniture). Then it warns you sternly NOT TO SPILL THE BEANS when you spot what's so scary about it.
I'll tell you: There's a face superimposed underneath one of the sofa pillows. It's not creepy, it's just a stupid time-waster.

Stereotypes

The other day I was paging through an old math book of mine called "Litton's Problematical Recreations" to see if the problems might be challenging enough for the budding math genius in my family.

But I found myself focusing more on how sex roles have changed since 1971, when it was published. In the book, each word problem has a little woodcut illustration, and guess what? All of the doctors, professors, scientists, athletes, computer programmers, travelers, salespeople, and Scouts are men (granted, there are only male prisoners and safecrackers, too). The only females pictured are a student, a girlfriend, a bad driver, a palm-reader, hopscotch players, an angel, a bride (and later a surly wife), a little girl whose father owns a yacht, and a librarian. There are both male and female hippies and card-players. A group called "League Against Restrictive Diets" contains an equal number of fat men and women, as does a group of six random people (you have to prove that "either three are mutually acquainted or three are mutually unacquainted") and a group of tea drinkers.
It was really quite startling.

No mat needed

Though I don't do yoga, I'm on the mailing list for a yoga retreat place. Usually their brochures resemble catalogs for upscale yoga wear, full of young, great-looking, incredibly flexible folks practicing their asanas in idyllic settings. But this season it seems the organization is pursuing a different demographic: the brochure I received last week shows a middle-aged person wearing billowy clothes, relaxing in an Adirondack chair, listening to an iPod and doing what looks like a Sudoku puzzle.

Bugged

A friend of mine is a hardy, active, very hard-working soul and was therefore quite peeved to discover that he had contracted a second sinus infection only 6 weeks after he got over his first one. He had the good sense to visit his doctor before his symptoms got too debilitating. She told him there is "nasty stuff" going around, and many of her patients have not only sinus issues like his but also a persistent cough.

I Did Not Know That

If you're looking for an excellent bedside book, try "The Book of General Ignorance: Everything You Think You Know is Wrong," by John Lloyd and John Mitchinson. I received it as a Christmas present ("How could I resist that title?" explained the gift-giver). It's divided into 230 chapters, each only a page or two in length and each offering a surprising answer to questions like "What are violin strings made from?" "What effect does alcohol have on brain cells?" "How was Teflon discovered?" "Is French toast from France?"
And the answer to "What's the largest living thing?" might be of interest to many farmers in the Kennett Square area. Hint: it's a fungus.

eBooks

I just got an email from my friend and fellow Unionville resident Paul Sapko, who is the reference librarian at the Bayard Taylor Memorial Library in Kennett. He's going to be offering two seminars entitled "I Got a Kindle or a Nook for Christmas! Now What?" Paul will teach you how to "access and search the library's collection of electronic books. You will learn how to check out and download library eBooks" to your device.
The programs will be at 6 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 14, and at 10 a.m. Tuesday, Feb. 21, at the library. You can call the library (610-444-2702) to reserve your spot (space is limited) or email psapko@ccls.org.

Wick-ipedia

Few things are more humbling than performing some household task that should be easy but somehow isn't. I learned this for the umpteenth time in my life when tinkering with my Aladdin oil lamp tonight.
I've had this lamp from, I believe, the very first winter I lived in West Marlborough. It produces not only a nice light but also a great deal of warmth, so it's very useful in case of power outages.
Aladdins are pretty sturdy (except for the extremely delicate mantle, the part that glows), and for the first time ever I needed to replace the wick. I ordered it from Lehman's, an old-fashioned hardware store in Kidron, Ohio, which stocks all things Aladdin (and off-the-grid).
When it arrived, I cleared off the table top, took the new wick out of the box, propped up the box so I could read the instructions, and started dismantling the lamp, trying to fix in my mind what piece belonged where.
One of the first steps was to remove the old wick, naturally. Easier said than done: It had been there for 20 years, and it was perfectly happy. But I managed to dislodge it, millimeter by millimeter. Then came the challenge of installing the new one. The instructions referred to lamp parts by name, but there were no illustrations.  This was a problem.
"Pull tabs until bottom of tape INSIDE wick is just below top edge of center tube."
"Turn winder anti-clockwise slowly until raiser arms engage with wick clips."
(Yes, "anti-clockwise.")
Guess what? There's not a YouTube video showing how to install a new wick, and the only online instructions simply repeat the ones on the box. But somehow the raiser arms DID end up engaging with the wick clips, with a very satisfying "click," and everything went right back into place.
Fortunately I remembered how to reassemble the whole thing, and now the new wick is soaking in the oil, ready for tomorrow evening.

Up to date

A Unionville friend who is a self-described foodie but non-techno geek just discovered Wegman's app for her iPhone. It lets you browse through recipes, and when you select one, the app automatically populates your shopping list with the ingredients you need and then even arranges them for you by supermarket aisle, so you don't have to look all over the store for an unfamiliar item.
"It is just so cool!" she said.
Not only is it a time-saver, but the recipe for Chicken with Peach Gravy was "one of the best ever." She stored it in the recipe file that the app created for her.
She said she also used her iPhone when purchasing a new mattress. She scanned the barcode at the mattress store and watched a three-minute video that gave her all the information she needed.

Dated

There's a flyer on the bulletin board at the Unionville post office advertising a self-improvement seminar entitled "how to date yourself."
I imagine the lecturer mean it in a Valentine's Day sense, like how to become a person you would enjoy going out on a date with. But when I first saw it, I thought it meant, how to make your old-fashioned nature obvious to one and all.
I don't need to attend a seminar for that, as my younger and much, MUCH hipper friends and family members would attest with enthusiasm.
And another friend interpreted "dated" a completely different way. She said she and her husband were out fox-hunting for four hours on Saturday, and the next day both of them felt every single year of their age.

Chinese New Year

Like Daisy Buchanan missing the longest day of the year, a few of my friends consistently manage to miss the fabulous Chinese New Year's buffet at the King's Island restaurant in the Superfresh shopping center east of Kennett.
"Why didn't you tell us?" they'll gripe to me afterward.
Consider it done. The buffet is going to be on Sunday, Feb. 12, and Sunday, Feb. 19, this year. A few old pals (meaning, of course, that our friendship is of long duration; nothing to do with our respective ages) and I have made it a tradition to go each year. The food is just delicious, and we always spend a leisurely afternoon eating and catching up with the news.

Flower power

We are so lucky to live so close to Longwood Gardens! This morning I needed to get away from a particularly tedious editing project, so I drove over there and spent a few hours wandering around. I love the smells -- the Oriental lilies, the carnations, the grapefruit tree -- and it was fun to see the tomatoes, melons, nasturtiums and marigolds already sprouting in the greenhouses. The bells in the carillon were clanging away, and people were lining up an hour ahead of time for a concert in the conservatory ballroom.

In addition to the beautiful plants, I don't know a better spot for people-watching. I was especially amused by two photographers prostrating themselves before the cineraria.
And have you noticed Longwood's new logo? It looks to me like a combination of a stylized daisy and some fancy calligraphy -- very nice.