Wednesday, January 25, 2017

POLITICS: Across the spectrum

After a brutal, rancorous political season that pitted friend against friend, a most welcome spot of humor appeared in my mailbox today. Someone -- I have a prime suspect in mind -- sent me a subscription to a periodical that represents the utter and complete antithesis of my political beliefs. 
I laughed aloud upon seeing it, and when I sat down with it later that evening I was surprised to find the articles interesting, well written (once I got past the stereotypes and immoderate language) and well researched. I also appreciated the clean graphic design and the lack of all those distracting marginal factoids, pull quotes, and cut-out heads that plague so many magazines today.
One final political note: a former colleague of mine was participating in one of those marches in Washington DC this past week. While she was en route on the Metro, an angry man lunged at her, grabbed her thick foam-core hand-written sign and ripped it in half. She reported that a retired military man and his wife came to her rescue, and she was shaken up but unhurt; her friend's eyeglasses were knocked off. She proceeded to the march with her bisected sign.
There's just no excuse for such behavior. You may disagree with the sentiment expressed, but that doesn't justify violence.

CLARENCE: It's all gravy

Having made up his weight deficit and tipping the scales at 12 pounds, Clarence the Rescue Cat has morphed from starving waif to tyrant of my household. Yesterday he woke me at 4:05 a.m. by sitting on my head; he needed to alert me that his food dish was almost empty.
For a while he was content with anything I served him and would gobble it down immediately and gratefully. Now his palate is as sophisticated as that of any foodie, and he rejects the Mixed Seafood Pate that he loved just the other day.
I started keeping two lists on the fridge: Clarence Likes and Clarence Dislikes. Clarence's other minder, far more savvy in the fickle ways of felines, added the words "this week" to each.
One additional cat note: searching for elusive cat toys under and behind furniture gives you a really good reminder of how long it's been since you've done a thorough house cleaning.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

EAST FALLOWFIELD: Route 82 is closed

Don't forget that Route 82 is closed between Strasburg Road and Valley Road so that a tiny bridge can be repaired. The other night we were headed up that way and spotted the "Road Closed" sign.
"Oh yeah!" I said, with some embarrassment. "I wrote about that."
Another friend said he somehow missed the sign, drove right up to the blocked-off bridge and then had to backtrack through the dense fog.

GYM: And eyes in the back of her head

I mentioned in last week's column that fresh music and exercises were just released for several of my favorite gym classes. The class I took on Jan. 17 was challenging to say the least, with a positively indecent number of lunges, pushups and jumping jacks.
All of us returned to the class on Jan. 19 with some trepidation, but at least we knew what to expect, and it seemed comparatively easier.
"That wasn't so bad," a red-faced friend said to me at the end of the hour, as we were gulping water and catching our breath at the side of the room.
"THAT WASN'T SO BAD?!" repeated our instructor in mock-drill-sergeant fashion (she is all about giving us a tough workout).
"Oh, Lord," I said to my friend. "She heard you!"
"Are you kidding?" our instructor said. "I hear everything. I'm a Mom."

KATS: "All good friends"

What a great evening of silliness and fun! We were still singing the final number as we walked to our car after the Kennett Amateur Theatrical Society's annual show, "Little Beau Peep and the Smugglers."
For the man sitting behind us, it was his first KATS show, but he quickly caught on that it's all about audience participation. You "boo" and "hiss" every time the villains set foot on stage, greet the Dame with a rousing "Hello, Sarah!", sing the Silly Song (this year "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts") and join in the cries of "Oh no they don't!"
The Dame (in the British tradition played by a man, Warren Brooks in this case) appeared in a series of ever-gaudier hoop skirts and towering wigs. The children's chorus, always adorable, this year portrayed a flock of baaa-ing lambs. We especially liked Sir Jasper (Mike Ferry)'s chillingly evil laugh, and as always, it was fun to see friends and neighbors hamming it up on stage.
Toward the end of intermission, the two "revenue men," Sergeant Nickel and Corporal Dime, strode through the cafeteria, rounding audience members up and threatening us with a loitering tax if we didn't return to the auditorium immediately. Of course, Caroline Smith's script included some local references. The Pantomime Horse was carrying mushrooms in its basket, and a pivotal birthmark, the Hawkhurst Escutcheon, was described as being located in "an unmentionable place."
"Like Unionville??" was the horrified reply. (I booed.)
At breakfast the next morning at Longwood Family Restaurant, we ran into Peter Giangiulio, who had played Poseidon and is the KATS Board Chair, and got to tell him how much we enjoyed the show. He and his wife Stephanie was on their way to tear down the sets.

COATESVILLE: Keeping it "reel"

As my readers know, I attend a lot of concerts, but the one on Jan. 20 was really special. Three very personable young men -- Joey Abarta on the uilleann pipes, Nathan Gourley on the fiddle and Owen Powell on the bouzouki -- visited the Coatesville Cultural Society as part of the Coatesville Traditional Irish Music Series.
The room where the concert was held was small and simple, with no stage or sound system separating the performers from the audience. It actually had the feel of a house concert: the audience members felt comfortable asking the musicians questions about their instruments, their travels and even their personal life, and they were happy to answer.
Joey demonstrated how his uilleann pipes work: he uses one elbow to pump air into the bladder and the other to force air through the chanter. He plays the melody with his fingers, and he uses his wrist to work the drones. "Basically a one-man band," he quipped.
He had to tune the instrument repeatedly during the show, and he said he always brings along a repair kit.
One man in the audience asked if the uilleann pipes are sensitive to humidity.
"Yes," he answered immediately.
"Substitute any word for humidity, and the answer is still yes," laughed Nathan (the two share what must be a very musical house in Boston with their girlfriends).
Owen, who lives in Portland, Maine, explained that his bouzouki, a Greek stringed instrument, is somewhat awkward to play for two reasons: first, its deep, full, lute-like back slides around on his lap, and second, "the battle of the bulge," as he said, ruefully indicating his belly.
The organizers of the long-running music series, Frank Dalton and Emily Fine of Embreeville, deserve great credit for bringing such consistently talented musicians to our area.

RIP: Goodbye to Georgie

The Unionville community lost a remarkable woman when Georgianna Hannum Stapleton passed away in the early hours of Jan. 17.
Georgie was a kind, generous and hospitable friend to me and to so many others. She was smart, beautiful, lively, curious, stylish and utterly hilarious. She was so brave, stoic and matter-of-fact about her long illness that a lot of people didn't even know she was sick.
Georgie, who always took a great interest in people, was an avid reader of "Unionville in the News" from the beginning. Early in this column's existence, she invited me to brunch -- she was an amazing hostess -- and I wrote an item about it afterward, something about how you could be sure of having a great time when she was around.
My mistake was using exactly the same line in my thank-you note to her.
Of course, she put two and two together immediately, called me and cried, "YOU'RE TILDA!"
After that I would receive random -- always funny -- emails from her about the column, everything from wondering how I don't gain weight with all the restaurants I visit, to thanking me for promoting a sense of community.
Georgie and I were both on the Primitive Hall Board of Directors, and from experience I can say that she was someone you wanted in your corner when you were dealing with any kind of property transaction. The owner of Country Properties in Unionville, she was a shrewd businessperson, and often she'd wait until the end of a discussion and then state her well-reasoned opinion, and everyone would think, "But of course!"
I will miss her beautiful presence so much. My deepest sympathy to her husband, Walter, and her whole family.
And Georgie, trust me, I won't breathe a word about your deviled-egg secret.



FLORIDA: Call the repair crew

The senior Tally-hos report great excitement at their snowbird condominium complex: the elevator malfunctioned the other day, trapping a woman and her dog inside for 40 minutes! Both were fine after their adventure, and fortunately the dog was on his way back from being pottied outside.

FINANCES: Sending out those 1099s

A bookkeeper friend reports that, over the holidays, his wife was happy to show off to visitors his immaculately tidy and organized home office. All that has changed: his clients have deluged him with receipts and paperwork so he can prepare their end-of-the-year financial statements and tax documents. He says there are files covering every flat surface in his office, and his wife asks him to keep the door shut.