Thursday, November 17, 2011

Bad songs say so much

There's no better way to start a lengthy and entertaining comment thread on Facebook than to ask, What's your least favorite song ever?
Everybody has an opinion. Even Facebook friends you haven't heard from for months will chime in.
I tried it recently, offering up Billy Joel's "Piano Man" and the Oak Ridge Boys' "Elvira" as my Hall of Shame selections.
Suggestions came in all day from all over the world, including some truly awful songs, like "Muskrat Love" by the Captain and Tennille, "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog" by Three Dog Night, "The Pina Colada Song" by Rupert Holmes, "Young Girl" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, and the ear-damaging "Loving You" by Minnie Ripperton.
All dreadful! But I had to take issue with two picks that are absolute disco classics: Donna Summer's "MacArthur Park" and Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." And what was my pal Susan thinking, suggesting "Yummy Yummy Yummy" by Ohio Express? Has she no love in her tummy?
In the Christmas-song (not carol) category, "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" (an aberration by Sir Paul McCartney), "Grandma Got Run Over" and  "Two Front Teeth" were nominated, with my full backing.
And my always-entertaining friend Betsy was unmoved, except to dyspepsia, by a country ditty she heard called "Christmas Shoes," in which a little urchin is desperate to buy his dying mother a pair of shoes "before she meets Jesus tonight." 
"How does this kid know Mama will meet Jesus tonight?" Betsy demands. "She could linger for days. Truly a 5 star gagger!!!"
Alright, let's end this item on a happy note: Best Christmas song ever is Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You." And that's not open to debate.

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